Certainty can bring stability and security for us so that we know that these things are there for us should we need or want them regardless of the other things that may happen around us which may be subject to change.
To break it down, certainty can come in the guise of a structured day, a desk to sit at, a learning support mentor at school, friends or even playtimes and breaks.
Heraclitus, the ancient Greek philosopher, quoted hundreds of years ago, that “Change is the only constant in life”. One could safely agree that his quote would still ring true for all of time. Therefore, it makes sense to embrace this change and be positive about the future. In order to do this, we need at least some level of clarity and certainty to guide us through the uncertainties and change in life as it continues to move us along our journeys.
Without them, it could be fair to say we could be very vulnerable to experiencing severe anxieties and meltdowns -as we all know that many of us are now sadly experiencing.
I recently had a young boy who was really struggling with his life in general even before Covid, and then obviously it was simply amplified once the pandemic hit. His home life was quite unstable due to his parents’ recent separation. He was uncertain about where he was going to be for how long with each parent at home. He was uncertain that his parents would ever get back together again and whether or not it was his fault. He didn’t like his school and didn’t have many friends due to his anger issues. In addition, he was uncertain that he would ever catch up with his schoolwork and so began to feel as he says “dumb”.
When he came to me, we explored the issues at hand and he had the chance to really have some certainty within the sessions that they were all about him. Together, we managed to unravel some of the other certainties in life too. He had his grandparents for security as a place to escape regularly and when things got tough. He also realised that if he were to be a happier person overall by changing his own perspectives and outlook, perhaps by not carrying the load of his parents’ separation, he was more likely to be happier and make some good friends.
We all have some certainties to carry us through tough times, but when we are low, it is very easy and common to lose sight of these. It took a few sessions with the above young man but he soon started to make some well needed changes that increased his levels of certainty.